Sunday, September 13, 2009

"The Bright Side of Positiveness"

I never thought that things could get worst...


Just when I'm starting to think that my misfortunes is coming to an end... (sigh..)


September 12, 2009



Saturday 3:45pm I decided to go at my girlfriend's house.. I took a bus ride (Balibago to Lawton).. On the way i was in a happy mood because we are going to see each other again.. I'd like to surprise her so I tried to tell her that I'm not coming but I was so excited and could not help myself to text her that I was on my way... It took me 2 hours just to get to the LRT station, there was a heavy traffic due to the construction of the roads.. After leaving the bus, i decided to give my self a snack, i haven't eaten lunch yet. i bought a shawarma with cheese and gave myself some time to enjoy the food.. after the snack I puffed a cigar then ride the LRT... I texted my girlfriend " Dito na ako sa LRT" then i hid my phone, I always hid my phone to my left pocket but for an unknown reason i slid it to my right pocket,it was passed 6:00pm...



It was raining that afternoon the streets of Baclaran was flooded passer by's are walking side by side in the dry part of the street.. suddenly a boy ask me if I want to buy his plastic bag.. I don't need one so I didn't bought any but he still insisted for me to buy.. he placed the big plastic bag near my face and all i can see is his eyes, i was walking forward.. he was walking backward.... after a while i thought he lost interest of selling me his plastic bag then he passed through me... the moment he passed through me, I checked my right pocket and to my surprise my phone is missing (!(@$*%#!!!!). I looked back and the boy is gone. I ask one of the store owner "MAMA SAN TUMAKBO YUNG BATA!" he replied "Dun sa Likod" I run as fast as I could and i saw a glimpse of the thief. He ran through the alleys ways of Baclaran..



Angered and Frustrated I didn't think of the dangers that is lurking behind those unfamiliar dark alleys. I wanted to get my phone so badly because my father gave that to me.. its a part of my life... It is so important to me... Its like it is my bestfriend.... (@!#@#%#!!!)





I saw the thief running in a straight road.. I thought that this is my chance to catch the thief.. but as he passed through some men, drinking liquor. They stood up.. so I stopped running.. Gazing my eyes to the men in the dark alley... I felt danger... There's nothing I could do but to look at thief as he vanishes through the streets.... I cant move my nerves are tingling, the clutches of my grip tightens... I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down... If i continue pursuing I have to get through the drunk men first and if I continue pursuing I might end up my life.. My life is not worth a cellphone... My calmness saved me from being dragged in a much more trouble... I turned around and start to walk away....




My PDA phone is one of the best thing that happened in my life.. it was a gift from my father.. it was our way of communication with my girlfriend.. I used it for my blog.. to text my friends.. for some research.. to take pictures of unforgettable happenings... and now its gone...




For the past few months I have been battered and shattered by misfortunes, physical and emotional problems, poverty, etc.... But I wont go back to my negative self again.. Its time for me to pick up the pieces of my shattered self.. Its time for me to start a new life... A life that will begin from the scratch.. A life that is driven by my will and my decisions.. A life that I can call "My life"




I miss the jolly person in me... And I have the feeling that he is coming back.. ^_^




"Do not Blame your Misfortunes to Anyone or Anything"
"But Instead, Accept Them and Accumulate all Possible Lesson That You can Learn"





Jen's Laptop Entry
14th day of September Year 2009

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Reconcillation

Reconciliation (Something Positive)



After a hot chocolate and a snack I felt the urge to write...



Last month I'm confused and almost lost myself and the one I loved most due to the problems that I've encountered.. But a ray of hope has shimmered its way on me.





Saturday August 29, 2009




I told my girlfriend to come into our house to settle and fixed the argument that we had the other day... I realized that setting myself free wasn't really the thing that I needed I think time and space (call me an astronaut if you want) is all what I wanted and she gave me a day before I invited her to come in our home or rather I pushed her to give me a day before she come here.. It also came into my mind that in these kind of trials I should never let go of the one who cares about me.. I was blinded by the pain and misfortunes of my life that I became selfish and a monster... And for that.. I was sorry.... I'm really thankful that I can still continue my story with the one that I love and Im glad because a new shimmer of light has given me hope to still survive in this endless trials that has been ramming me emotionally and physically...




Finally something positive has happened after the consecutive negativity of life....





" Happiness and Sufferings for Those who Cling"

" Loneliness and Boredom for Those who let Go"




PDA Phone Word Mobile Entry

1:01am 2nd day of September year 2009

Reaching The Limit

Reaching the Limit

It’s been a while....

Last Thursday (August 27) I broke up with my girlfriend (5 years relationship) due to some very deep and imprisoned emotions that has been triggered in our quarrel that night and my problems in life also played a big role in that situation..

We were arguing about a lot of things then just all a sudden she just blurted out...

"pagod na ako mahal... sobra"

She's tired of what is happening to our relationship she has her own reasons and I also made made mistakes in our relationship so I can't blame her if she is tired..

But I replied...

"Pano kung pagod na din ako?"

Frankly I'm surprised to myself because I'm not the type of guy who would say such things, its not so typical of me and not me.. Maybe because I'm too fed up of being pushed or maybe I have reached the limit of my patience..."

Never in my life have I felt so numb no not numb but stone-hearted.. I started not to care whether I hurt the feeling of the one I loved most.. I became selfish and threw all of my pain at her like a heartless monster..

"Sakal na sakal na ako sobra na"
"Na fafall out of love na ako sayo"
"Pwede ko na ba hingiin ang kalayaan ko?"
"Sorry for being honest"

These are the harsh words that I said to her... In some way I felt glad because I was able to express my feelings honestly.. I didn't let myself to get pushed again that's why I did what I said with dignity.. Tired of being hen-pecked and strangled by her selfishness, I felt that I don't have a room for myself anymore... So I decided to set myself free...


"Everything in this World has its Limit"


PDA Phone Word Mobile Entry
1:04am 1st day of September year 2009