June 6, 2010... 5:30 AM
After a good drink with my mom dad my gf and me (except my gf is not drinking) I felt that I should start making new blogs of me and for me...
I'm in my room with Joanna sleeping besides me, lights turned off and the only lighting is the monitor screen...
Me and Joanna decided to move in in our house in Laguna almost 3 months ago.. Right now I'm unemployed and things are starting to get out of my plans and is only getting worst...
At the first month of being unemployed everything was going according to plan, we enjoyed the summer vacation at La Union with my families and relatives.
I was not thinking about the future, I told my self hey its summer time its vacation give your self some time to enjoy with your family and relatives and with your love ones..
I was careless....
After we got back from our vacation, I still believe that everything was going according to plan.
I was wrong....
Days, weeks have passed and still I was not able to see that I lost my responsibility of finding a job because I was so confident that if I apply at another call center company I would get hired easily and yet again I was wrong...
I tried applying at a Call Center company here at Sta.Rosa Everything was going smoothly. I passed all their test and exams in fact I even took exams that other applicants didn't take. Finally after three days of coming back and fourth to the company they sent me a message to come to their office for the job offer. I was excited and so happy because everything is going well. But my excitement gradually wear off.
Job Offer day, waited from 4pm to 8pm in the company only to tell me to wait for my medical results before they can give me my Job offer. I patiently waited... Hours turn to days and days to week... Frustrated I tried texting the HR manager of the company.. no response.... To myself I said maybe they are just busy and they are trying to find me a suitable position for my skills.. I was thinking this way positively but I realized that I was not thinking positively I was hoping... and desperate... As it turned out after another few weeks I received no message from the company and I realized that my plan is not as I expected it would be.. This started to mess my plans and things got even more uglier... I tried applying to different companies, same result I passed their exams but all of them doesn't have a training schedule yet....
So many plans of mine have been out scheduled not to mention our wedding plan...
And all of this happened because of my carelessness.....
I write this blog to tell my self how foolish I am and to remind my self how much precious time I have spent doing nothing and also I want this blog to serve as my guide to help me in the future...
Monday will come.... I will do the best that I can to get my priorities right from this day forth....
" To much confidence will result to carelessness" ........ Ouchie....
End of Entry
Entry from Joanna's Laptop
6:23 Am
June 6, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Welcome back to me ^______^
Wow!!!!
It been ages since the last time a wrote here whew!!!
I miss this!!!
Now I'am using Joanna Carla's laptop (my wife to be) to write my blogs ^____^
Im so glad I managed to recover my password in this account hahaha ^__^
Well this is just a simple introduction saying that the devil in white is back to write more blogs YAAAAY!!!! (ahem)
I just hope that there will be no more morbid post or blog entry this time around ^_________^
Anyways... Im glad that I can write again to this blogspot ^___^
It been ages since the last time a wrote here whew!!!
I miss this!!!
Now I'am using Joanna Carla's laptop (my wife to be) to write my blogs ^____^
Im so glad I managed to recover my password in this account hahaha ^__^
Well this is just a simple introduction saying that the devil in white is back to write more blogs YAAAAY!!!! (ahem)
I just hope that there will be no more morbid post or blog entry this time around ^_________^
Anyways... Im glad that I can write again to this blogspot ^___^
Sunday, September 13, 2009
"The Bright Side of Positiveness"
I never thought that things could get worst...
Just when I'm starting to think that my misfortunes is coming to an end... (sigh..)
September 12, 2009
Saturday 3:45pm I decided to go at my girlfriend's house.. I took a bus ride (Balibago to Lawton).. On the way i was in a happy mood because we are going to see each other again.. I'd like to surprise her so I tried to tell her that I'm not coming but I was so excited and could not help myself to text her that I was on my way... It took me 2 hours just to get to the LRT station, there was a heavy traffic due to the construction of the roads.. After leaving the bus, i decided to give my self a snack, i haven't eaten lunch yet. i bought a shawarma with cheese and gave myself some time to enjoy the food.. after the snack I puffed a cigar then ride the LRT... I texted my girlfriend " Dito na ako sa LRT" then i hid my phone, I always hid my phone to my left pocket but for an unknown reason i slid it to my right pocket,it was passed 6:00pm...
It was raining that afternoon the streets of Baclaran was flooded passer by's are walking side by side in the dry part of the street.. suddenly a boy ask me if I want to buy his plastic bag.. I don't need one so I didn't bought any but he still insisted for me to buy.. he placed the big plastic bag near my face and all i can see is his eyes, i was walking forward.. he was walking backward.... after a while i thought he lost interest of selling me his plastic bag then he passed through me... the moment he passed through me, I checked my right pocket and to my surprise my phone is missing (!(@$*%#!!!!). I looked back and the boy is gone. I ask one of the store owner "MAMA SAN TUMAKBO YUNG BATA!" he replied "Dun sa Likod" I run as fast as I could and i saw a glimpse of the thief. He ran through the alleys ways of Baclaran..
Angered and Frustrated I didn't think of the dangers that is lurking behind those unfamiliar dark alleys. I wanted to get my phone so badly because my father gave that to me.. its a part of my life... It is so important to me... Its like it is my bestfriend.... (@!#@#%#!!!)
I saw the thief running in a straight road.. I thought that this is my chance to catch the thief.. but as he passed through some men, drinking liquor. They stood up.. so I stopped running.. Gazing my eyes to the men in the dark alley... I felt danger... There's nothing I could do but to look at thief as he vanishes through the streets.... I cant move my nerves are tingling, the clutches of my grip tightens... I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down... If i continue pursuing I have to get through the drunk men first and if I continue pursuing I might end up my life.. My life is not worth a cellphone... My calmness saved me from being dragged in a much more trouble... I turned around and start to walk away....
My PDA phone is one of the best thing that happened in my life.. it was a gift from my father.. it was our way of communication with my girlfriend.. I used it for my blog.. to text my friends.. for some research.. to take pictures of unforgettable happenings... and now its gone...
For the past few months I have been battered and shattered by misfortunes, physical and emotional problems, poverty, etc.... But I wont go back to my negative self again.. Its time for me to pick up the pieces of my shattered self.. Its time for me to start a new life... A life that will begin from the scratch.. A life that is driven by my will and my decisions.. A life that I can call "My life"
I miss the jolly person in me... And I have the feeling that he is coming back.. ^_^
"Do not Blame your Misfortunes to Anyone or Anything"
"But Instead, Accept Them and Accumulate all Possible Lesson That You can Learn"
Jen's Laptop Entry
14th day of September Year 2009
Just when I'm starting to think that my misfortunes is coming to an end... (sigh..)
September 12, 2009
Saturday 3:45pm I decided to go at my girlfriend's house.. I took a bus ride (Balibago to Lawton).. On the way i was in a happy mood because we are going to see each other again.. I'd like to surprise her so I tried to tell her that I'm not coming but I was so excited and could not help myself to text her that I was on my way... It took me 2 hours just to get to the LRT station, there was a heavy traffic due to the construction of the roads.. After leaving the bus, i decided to give my self a snack, i haven't eaten lunch yet. i bought a shawarma with cheese and gave myself some time to enjoy the food.. after the snack I puffed a cigar then ride the LRT... I texted my girlfriend " Dito na ako sa LRT" then i hid my phone, I always hid my phone to my left pocket but for an unknown reason i slid it to my right pocket,it was passed 6:00pm...
It was raining that afternoon the streets of Baclaran was flooded passer by's are walking side by side in the dry part of the street.. suddenly a boy ask me if I want to buy his plastic bag.. I don't need one so I didn't bought any but he still insisted for me to buy.. he placed the big plastic bag near my face and all i can see is his eyes, i was walking forward.. he was walking backward.... after a while i thought he lost interest of selling me his plastic bag then he passed through me... the moment he passed through me, I checked my right pocket and to my surprise my phone is missing (!(@$*%#!!!!). I looked back and the boy is gone. I ask one of the store owner "MAMA SAN TUMAKBO YUNG BATA!" he replied "Dun sa Likod" I run as fast as I could and i saw a glimpse of the thief. He ran through the alleys ways of Baclaran..
Angered and Frustrated I didn't think of the dangers that is lurking behind those unfamiliar dark alleys. I wanted to get my phone so badly because my father gave that to me.. its a part of my life... It is so important to me... Its like it is my bestfriend.... (@!#@#%#!!!)
I saw the thief running in a straight road.. I thought that this is my chance to catch the thief.. but as he passed through some men, drinking liquor. They stood up.. so I stopped running.. Gazing my eyes to the men in the dark alley... I felt danger... There's nothing I could do but to look at thief as he vanishes through the streets.... I cant move my nerves are tingling, the clutches of my grip tightens... I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down... If i continue pursuing I have to get through the drunk men first and if I continue pursuing I might end up my life.. My life is not worth a cellphone... My calmness saved me from being dragged in a much more trouble... I turned around and start to walk away....
My PDA phone is one of the best thing that happened in my life.. it was a gift from my father.. it was our way of communication with my girlfriend.. I used it for my blog.. to text my friends.. for some research.. to take pictures of unforgettable happenings... and now its gone...
For the past few months I have been battered and shattered by misfortunes, physical and emotional problems, poverty, etc.... But I wont go back to my negative self again.. Its time for me to pick up the pieces of my shattered self.. Its time for me to start a new life... A life that will begin from the scratch.. A life that is driven by my will and my decisions.. A life that I can call "My life"
I miss the jolly person in me... And I have the feeling that he is coming back.. ^_^
"Do not Blame your Misfortunes to Anyone or Anything"
"But Instead, Accept Them and Accumulate all Possible Lesson That You can Learn"
Jen's Laptop Entry
14th day of September Year 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Reconcillation
Reconciliation (Something Positive)
After a hot chocolate and a snack I felt the urge to write...
Last month I'm confused and almost lost myself and the one I loved most due to the problems that I've encountered.. But a ray of hope has shimmered its way on me.
Saturday August 29, 2009
I told my girlfriend to come into our house to settle and fixed the argument that we had the other day... I realized that setting myself free wasn't really the thing that I needed I think time and space (call me an astronaut if you want) is all what I wanted and she gave me a day before I invited her to come in our home or rather I pushed her to give me a day before she come here.. It also came into my mind that in these kind of trials I should never let go of the one who cares about me.. I was blinded by the pain and misfortunes of my life that I became selfish and a monster... And for that.. I was sorry.... I'm really thankful that I can still continue my story with the one that I love and Im glad because a new shimmer of light has given me hope to still survive in this endless trials that has been ramming me emotionally and physically...
Finally something positive has happened after the consecutive negativity of life....
" Happiness and Sufferings for Those who Cling"
" Loneliness and Boredom for Those who let Go"
PDA Phone Word Mobile Entry
1:01am 2nd day of September year 2009
After a hot chocolate and a snack I felt the urge to write...
Last month I'm confused and almost lost myself and the one I loved most due to the problems that I've encountered.. But a ray of hope has shimmered its way on me.
Saturday August 29, 2009
I told my girlfriend to come into our house to settle and fixed the argument that we had the other day... I realized that setting myself free wasn't really the thing that I needed I think time and space (call me an astronaut if you want) is all what I wanted and she gave me a day before I invited her to come in our home or rather I pushed her to give me a day before she come here.. It also came into my mind that in these kind of trials I should never let go of the one who cares about me.. I was blinded by the pain and misfortunes of my life that I became selfish and a monster... And for that.. I was sorry.... I'm really thankful that I can still continue my story with the one that I love and Im glad because a new shimmer of light has given me hope to still survive in this endless trials that has been ramming me emotionally and physically...
Finally something positive has happened after the consecutive negativity of life....
" Happiness and Sufferings for Those who Cling"
" Loneliness and Boredom for Those who let Go"
PDA Phone Word Mobile Entry
1:01am 2nd day of September year 2009
Reaching The Limit
Reaching the Limit
It’s been a while....
Last Thursday (August 27) I broke up with my girlfriend (5 years relationship) due to some very deep and imprisoned emotions that has been triggered in our quarrel that night and my problems in life also played a big role in that situation..
We were arguing about a lot of things then just all a sudden she just blurted out...
"pagod na ako mahal... sobra"
She's tired of what is happening to our relationship she has her own reasons and I also made made mistakes in our relationship so I can't blame her if she is tired..
But I replied...
"Pano kung pagod na din ako?"
Frankly I'm surprised to myself because I'm not the type of guy who would say such things, its not so typical of me and not me.. Maybe because I'm too fed up of being pushed or maybe I have reached the limit of my patience..."
Never in my life have I felt so numb no not numb but stone-hearted.. I started not to care whether I hurt the feeling of the one I loved most.. I became selfish and threw all of my pain at her like a heartless monster..
"Sakal na sakal na ako sobra na"
"Na fafall out of love na ako sayo"
"Pwede ko na ba hingiin ang kalayaan ko?"
"Sorry for being honest"
These are the harsh words that I said to her... In some way I felt glad because I was able to express my feelings honestly.. I didn't let myself to get pushed again that's why I did what I said with dignity.. Tired of being hen-pecked and strangled by her selfishness, I felt that I don't have a room for myself anymore... So I decided to set myself free...
"Everything in this World has its Limit"
PDA Phone Word Mobile Entry
1:04am 1st day of September year 2009
It’s been a while....
Last Thursday (August 27) I broke up with my girlfriend (5 years relationship) due to some very deep and imprisoned emotions that has been triggered in our quarrel that night and my problems in life also played a big role in that situation..
We were arguing about a lot of things then just all a sudden she just blurted out...
"pagod na ako mahal... sobra"
She's tired of what is happening to our relationship she has her own reasons and I also made made mistakes in our relationship so I can't blame her if she is tired..
But I replied...
"Pano kung pagod na din ako?"
Frankly I'm surprised to myself because I'm not the type of guy who would say such things, its not so typical of me and not me.. Maybe because I'm too fed up of being pushed or maybe I have reached the limit of my patience..."
Never in my life have I felt so numb no not numb but stone-hearted.. I started not to care whether I hurt the feeling of the one I loved most.. I became selfish and threw all of my pain at her like a heartless monster..
"Sakal na sakal na ako sobra na"
"Na fafall out of love na ako sayo"
"Pwede ko na ba hingiin ang kalayaan ko?"
"Sorry for being honest"
These are the harsh words that I said to her... In some way I felt glad because I was able to express my feelings honestly.. I didn't let myself to get pushed again that's why I did what I said with dignity.. Tired of being hen-pecked and strangled by her selfishness, I felt that I don't have a room for myself anymore... So I decided to set myself free...
"Everything in this World has its Limit"
PDA Phone Word Mobile Entry
1:04am 1st day of September year 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Numbness
Numbness
3:10am 19th day of August Year 2009
Its been a while since my last entry but I can still feel that weird feeling last time. I thought it'll just vanish if I don't think about it. But now I still feel numb and I don't feel any enlightenment. I feel very eerie about this feeling I don't know if it’s good but my instincts tells me that it is bad. My mind is telling me that this feeling is negative and I should change it. I should not entertain this feeling any longer.. The more I get succumb to this feeling, the more that I feel that I don't care about my problems anymore... This numbness, it makes me not to think about my problems, it makes me accept that my problems is nothing and I should just let it disappear and I shouldn't worry and make a solution about it.. I thought it was great but it doesn't change the fact that I have a problem... I don't like this feeling anymore... I don't want to feel numb... I should find a way to deal with this but for now I don't know how.. But I’m sure that just by writing this blog I already had done something to get out of this slumber...
"Problems are like locked chest.. You'll have to find the right key to open it"
PDA Phone Word Mobile Entry
3:33am 19th day of August year 2009
3:10am 19th day of August Year 2009
Its been a while since my last entry but I can still feel that weird feeling last time. I thought it'll just vanish if I don't think about it. But now I still feel numb and I don't feel any enlightenment. I feel very eerie about this feeling I don't know if it’s good but my instincts tells me that it is bad. My mind is telling me that this feeling is negative and I should change it. I should not entertain this feeling any longer.. The more I get succumb to this feeling, the more that I feel that I don't care about my problems anymore... This numbness, it makes me not to think about my problems, it makes me accept that my problems is nothing and I should just let it disappear and I shouldn't worry and make a solution about it.. I thought it was great but it doesn't change the fact that I have a problem... I don't like this feeling anymore... I don't want to feel numb... I should find a way to deal with this but for now I don't know how.. But I’m sure that just by writing this blog I already had done something to get out of this slumber...
"Problems are like locked chest.. You'll have to find the right key to open it"
PDA Phone Word Mobile Entry
3:33am 19th day of August year 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Unknown Feeling
Unknown Feeling
1:01am 14th day of August Year 2009
After enjoying a cup of coffee and cigarette I went to my room and flattened my self to bed....
I can't really think of anything in particular to write so I'll just let my chubby thumb to type
whatever that will come into my mind....
Staring at the blinking cursor I can't seem to think of anything. Maybe my mind is relax now or im just tired. Five minutes have already passed, I still can't think of anything to say... This is odd. At this time of hour I always think of something... Something morbid or dark but now.. Nothing.. Hmmm I'm starting to get annoyed.. Why can't I think of anything?
Hmmmm am I really that hard to myself that I can't accept that I'am relaxed? I'm not used in this kind of silence.. I always think of my problems before I go to sleep.. Where did my problems go? Why can't I think of them right now? weird...
Maybe this is a new feeling for me.. This is the first time that I felt this... Im relaxed... Or maybe not? Is this numbness?? Ahhh shit I'm going to bed...
"No One Can Judge You Better than Yourself"
PDA Phone Word Mobile Entry
1:25am 14th day of August year 2009
1:01am 14th day of August Year 2009
After enjoying a cup of coffee and cigarette I went to my room and flattened my self to bed....
I can't really think of anything in particular to write so I'll just let my chubby thumb to type
whatever that will come into my mind....
Staring at the blinking cursor I can't seem to think of anything. Maybe my mind is relax now or im just tired. Five minutes have already passed, I still can't think of anything to say... This is odd. At this time of hour I always think of something... Something morbid or dark but now.. Nothing.. Hmmm I'm starting to get annoyed.. Why can't I think of anything?
Hmmmm am I really that hard to myself that I can't accept that I'am relaxed? I'm not used in this kind of silence.. I always think of my problems before I go to sleep.. Where did my problems go? Why can't I think of them right now? weird...
Maybe this is a new feeling for me.. This is the first time that I felt this... Im relaxed... Or maybe not? Is this numbness?? Ahhh shit I'm going to bed...
"No One Can Judge You Better than Yourself"
PDA Phone Word Mobile Entry
1:25am 14th day of August year 2009
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